Some people had been rejoicing towards their Christmas presents, and boasting about their New Year’s resolution as looking forward to the best moment of the year. However, the feeling is actually a bit different to me. I have been sort of lost from the spread, and having some self acceptance is kind of difficult as I have been very tough and hard to myself this year.
A good friend of mine got a bit concern towards my situation. Reading my time line that mostly showered with desperation and tackles, she’d pull me and advised me to follow her idea – saying that Instead of counting many sad moments and downsized feelings, I’d rather go with my friend’s – a good friend advise to count blessings I have got today, tomorrow, and so on. Hence, at least I could be more thankful, and at least being proud of myself.
So I guess, this post would be my ‘count blessings’ thoughts. I would start to list the blessings from January 2011 up til today. I believe it’s not too soon to list all the blessings, as we’re getting closer to the end of December. I might still receive blessings for the two days ahead.
1. I felt thankful to spend my New Years Eve alone, sitting on my room and thankful towards all blessings I’ve had the previous year.
2. I felt thankful that I had a salary raised after 6 month working with the company
3. I felt thankful that I woke up early every morning and not feeling what-so-called morning grumpiness
4. I felt thankful that I met my friends at work, cooperated with them in many projects very well.
5. I felt thankful that I had so many cooperative partners at work.
6. I felt thankful my projects ran very well.
7. I felt thankful that I had had many opportunities to learn something new everyday with my clients.
8. I felt thankful that I could experience a walk-in interview for steward position in our flag carrier company that I had wanted although I didn’t make it.
9. I felt thankful that my company brought all of us for annual outing to Singapore where we could spend lots of fun times together.
10. I felt thankful that I could meet my best friend in Singapore, and also I had a chance to be on Singapore wheel, and flying experience then meet a new like-minded friend.
11. I felt thankful that I had a chance to lead my client’s project and it ran well.
12. I felt thankful that I had nice foods.
13. I felt thankful that I’ve been secured and saved from harm and accidents.
14. I felt thankful that I’d been introduced to start using a commuter line train in which station is near from my home and it now takes only 40 minutes to the office. Less stress.
15. I felt thankful that I had many wonderful friends. A great reunion of my old friends in April was a blast.
16. I felt thankful that I could be – at least – happy that one of my favorite airlines opened recruitment for a flight steward position that I’d been waiting for. I could pass 5 steps until final interview but then i didn’t make it. It was a sadness though, but I still thankful that I could feel excited, and met new friends.
17. I felt thankful that I could complete my working contract and kept the responsibility working with the company.
18. I felt thankful that I could share the happiness with poor people. Not much money I’d given for them, but at least by handing them with small changes or foods that would overcome their hunger for a bit.
19. I felt thankful I rarely missed my Sunday mass at church.
20. I felt thankful that I could travel to Bali again after all this time.
21. I felt thankful that I met new friends that I’d keep in touch until now.
22. I felt thankful that God’s given me time to cry, sad, laugh, and happy which all are in my life learning through disappointment and rejection.
23. I felt thankful that my sinusitis and tonsil surgery went well. And now, I barely sneeze or disturbed by runny nose habit.
24. I felt thankful I have many supporting friends that back me up during my sad moments, who would ensure me that everything’s gonna be okay, at least, helping me to think positive.
25. I felt thankful that I could change my old habit, and being more religious than the previous year. I felt thankful that I could be consistent in worshiping several devotions.
26. I felt thankful that I had a chance to visit Jayapura. I was really excited when I knew my parents took me to a place which turned out to be an exotic place such as Biak, Jayapura, and Timika.
27. I felt thankful that I could watch Java Soulnation concert 2011. I was given by 2 free tickets by a friend of mine hence I could take my good friend to see Sophie Ellis Bextor.
28. I felt thankful that I could watch Westlife concert this year, as the last concert that they might held in Jakarta!
29. I felt thankful I passed some tests for a school that I’d been wanting, although in the end, I didn’t make it. The series of tests namely: medical, talents, psycho-tests, english tests, and interviews. I failed on the psycho-test 2 and interview.
30. Again, I felt thankful that I have supporting relatives that keep me encouraged to try again.
31. I felt thankful that I’d passed my second trial psycho-test.
32. I felt thankful that after 5 months hiatus, I had been accepted again to my old office, and still assigned to handle my previous client of a prominent airline in Asia.
33. I felt thankful that I’d been more enthusiastic to go to work, and doing my task with less complaining, compared to the previous period.
34. I felt thankful that God has made me felt stupid at once, hence it would make me learning to appreciate my capabilities.
35. I felt thankful that my writing skills at least improved for a bit, then I could improve my blogs.
36. I felt thankful that I could see many people happiness which were all spread on twitter or facebook.
37. I felt thankful that our dog, Polar has been growing bigger and smarter in his first year. I was the first in my house to see him swimming and was impressed to it.
38. I felt thankful that my brother had completed his pilot education smoothly.
39. I felt thankful that my parent finally could have a son that they could proud of by becoming a pilot.
40. I felt thankful that I could still celebrate Christmas this year, with my parent, big family, and close friends.
41. I felt thankful that my office colleagues and I were given a long year-end holiday (from 24 – 3rd January 2012) which not done by other offices.
42. I felt thankful that when I felt nobody appreciated me, apparently I had an ‘extra income’ this year, not much though, but still could buy me a new pair of shoes.
43. I felt thankful that I am still fit, healthy, and been blessed with every talent God has trusted me.
These thankfulness are the way of my graceful upon the kindness He has given to me. I may not be someone special in someone’s heart or would likely remarkable by other people. But I believe that in His name, everything is possible, everything is comfort. No matter how devastated I was, but I knew that I could still smile, and share happiness with friends and others. It has been enough for me to help people get through their issues, and seeing them happy, at least those would make myself ‘special’.
On top of that, my biggest thankful is that I could be more religious and consistently praying. Besides, the other blessings as such my parent and my family are still alive healthily, live happily and getting more successful than the previous year. At least, I could see they still able to smile, laugh, and satisfied with their lives.
I may not find my comfort zone yet and still need extra work to collect every penny from zero, but next year, I hope it would be my year. It’s the year of the dragon!
Happy New Year all! Hopefully everything is better in 2012. Sayonara.