My Life

Do you believe in a Man-Woman BFF Relationship?

Hi my faithful reader, thanks for catching up with this one. This week I have come across many things that trigger my ideas to write about man and woman relationship. Basically the topic today is not a brand new, it is just a developed content from the previous post I wrote on facebook. Get ready? It’s a pretty long one..

Human is basically need of each other. As a social creature, human can’t live alone. We need at least more than one companion nowadays in order to survive. Our life might have been threatened by other human as well. We are educated since our childhood to always be loyal with our friends, assisting others sincerely, and always commit to the truth amongst the others.

Man and Woman are also made differently. They are here to complete each other, based on the Leviticus chapter, I King and II Kings were mentioned some verses that commits that Man and Woman are made in a union, and there’s no other acceptance into homosexuality. However, these verses even received some pros and contras. Some people who believe himself as a Liberal would mind to read this one, as their judgment might come to cover the homosexuals rights to love and to be loved. Anyway, I’m not talking about a sexual orientation here. I’m just jumping a bit to prove how important human not to be alone, and has someone (some people) near them in the world.

The world is just too fierce to let a man stand and walking alone. In light of crime around us as the reaction towards social gap or jealousy, and the murder comes along after a man’s break even can’t be handled easily. What’s the meaning of Man and Woman should cover themselves each other but they should pair equally. Man who’s assumed to be empowered and stronger than woman is ordered to protect the weak ones. This is not made by God, though from our social values.

Friendship is simply needed to make people more comfort and safe to deserve for a better life. Making best friend is very hard to do, as you may need a very long time to ensure that this man or woman are taking at least one part of your millions souls. It takes time, to understand each other. Remember there’s a fine line between Good Friend and Best Friend. And once you’re in, it means you have engaged into the intimacy which happens assexually. (Without any Sexual Seduction). Sometimes, Best friends have a bigger power than your marriage knot. Because the definition of a soul mate appears from a true best friendship that you may know each other well deep enough even your best friend know you better than him/herself. What happens most of the times is when the best friendship improves into a higher level of more than a casual affection.

“Best friend helps each other to develop self concept and fix their mistakes” Kleopas Danang

Casual affection happens between you and your best friend. This level goes to a circumstances that you are building a good friendship based on trust not self indulgence. Trusting people is the hardest thing in life. But once you met someone who can you trust to be your best friend, world seems to be very different.

Therefore, some man and woman who claim themselves as Bestfriends might be risky in developing this Casual Affection. I concluded that there’s no such a ‘BFF’ or Best Friend Forever status between Man and A Woman” It is a very strong conclusion, i know. But this conclusion is excluded at one condition, If only one of the Man or Woman is Gay.

“I believe in a best friendship between same sex (Man to Man, Woman to Woman) with one condition both of them are Straight enough. or If one of them is straight, and one of them is gay. Although nowadays, Love actually can be built on the basis of time spent between each other, and not really seeing at your sexes or sexual orientation.”

I face a lot of times seeing some of my girl-friends are making this ‘BFF’ status with any straight guys, and i roughly assuming, this must depart from one condition where the man used to like the girl but he was turned down, or he’s still in a effort to chase the girl. It’s very fragile to make friends with any Girls or Boys that you like. If you’ve developed a comfort zone into the friendship, you may find a moment where ‘the kiss and grabs’ are something can’t be hid easily.

A story from a friend of mine whose ex boyfriend left her a few months ago amidst for reason that he realizes, he’s in love with a girl who has been his best friend for a while, and they have been going out until now.

The man who might be asking the girl to be opened to himself with a few words of “You can tell me everything”, or “We need to get more opened to each other, with no distance” It’s merely an Invitation to build your empathy and fishing you to get more intimate rather than being just friends.

Woman and Man Relationship is either risky to be ruined when one of them assume each other as good friends, not more than that. Things that are commonly happened is when the woman was sad, and in a search of companion to share her problems. This could be a beneficiary for a man if the woman began to bow her head upon his shoulder, hugging him and cry for a comfort. What should the man do? It’s a big dilemma in recognizing what’s to fulfill her demands for peace and to make her feel comfort? A wise man wouldn’t take this as an advantage, he will still receive the hug, the cry and give the comfort but he must speak as though he’s her friend and without making any further moves.

What’s your say? Do you believe in a Man-Woman Best Friend Relationship only based on Casual Basis?

Written by: Kleopas Danang BY


2 thoughts on “Do you believe in a Man-Woman BFF Relationship?

  1. Cathy says:

    i met the man im with and it was pure physical at the beginning but as time has gone by 2yrs we have developed this great friendship relationship. We seem to have a bond between us that most people never develop in a lifetime. I’m not sure we will ever be intimate again and I want that, he keeps telling me that it will probably happen again and i think that it will but not 100% sure. We can talk with each other about anything and share our feelings about each other and we can agree to disagree and we are still there for each other.
    I was in a marriage for along time with a very controling man and he died of cancer. When I met my current man he has taught me what a real relationship is and how we have arrived at the friendship and bond we have with each other. It has not been easy and it has been alot of work and we are still working on it.
    He was married for 5yrs and divorced and in another relationship for 8yrs and he just recently told me that even though he was in that relationship for 8 yrs he never had with her what he has with me.

    He is younger than myself but we seem to have overcome that and we mutually agree that we were meant to be together as soul mates.

    Anyone have any insights to this relationship.

  2. Kleopas Danang says:

    Hi Cathy, thanks for commenting on this. Actually your love story is really interesting – no matter how long you guys were separated but I think you both are meant to be together, and it’s what we call destiny. I am sure that the distance that used to separate you both will strengthen your relationship now. Yes, I’d see that you both are soul mates. I’m happy for both of you šŸ™‚

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